Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Breaking down the List


The List has been the center of our conversations over the week-end, so I thought I might as well divide it into categories, just to make things a little bit clearer.

The Dr Livingstone “if I ever go missing, don’t bother looking for me around these parts” category
- Nouakchott
- Yaounde
- Cotonou
- Niamey
- Luanda
- Douala
- Djibouti
- Libreville
- Adis Abeba
- Kinshasa
- Bangui
- Dakar
- N’Djamena
- Ouagadougou

The Valium “I can’t believe I got all wound up waiting for the list and this is what I get” category:
- Brussels
- Zurich
- Saarbrücken
- Alicante

The Mollah Omar “I wonder what Mademoiselle Red would look like in a Burqa” category:
- Riyadh
- Djeddah
- Tangiers

The Wikipedia “where the fuck is this ?” category
- Tulear
- Zapopan

The Apocalypse Now “city that most reminds you of a war” category.
- Hanoi

The Brangelina “if we ever go there we’ll have a lot of babies real soon” category
- Copenhagen

The Didier Drogba “most likely name of city to end up as a good nickname for a football player” category
- Pointe Noire (it means black sriker for those of you who don’t speak French)

The Sky News “We’re okay mum, the bomb exploded in the other part of town” category
- Algiers
- Beirut

The Louis Vuitton “how much shopping can a woman do? category.
- Dubai

The Knacky “most likely name of city to trigger sausage jokes” category
- Frankfurt

The Che Guevara “there’s a reason why guerilla is a Spanish word” category
- San salvador
- Guatemala
- Lima

The Club Med “ I found my job on a last minute website ” category:
- Marrakesh

The Never say never “we’d said we’d move North but all of a sudden the South sounds alright too” category
- Athens
- Istanbul

The Prodigal son “If we go there my mum will never forgive me” category
- Hong Kong
- Beijing
- Johannesburg
- Seoul

The Rome “I’m already living in a capital city where nothing happens”category
- Ankara

The Hard to get “I think that would be very cool but so do dozens of other applicants” category
- London
- Barcelona
- Los Angeles

The Toronto “cities that think it’s so funny to have a name that ends in O” category
- Santiago
- Cairo
- Mexico
- Santo Domingo
- Antananarivo
- Bilbao

8 comments:

Jayne said...

Krakow's missing from your list. Is this a clue?

PS not LA, please god. In the words of Gertrude Stein "there's no there there" Plus your legs would wither away as you're not allowed to walk anywhere. At all. In fact, as far as I remember, there aren't any pavements (except the one outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre obviously).

Rosie said...

yeah. what Jayne said.

The Major said...

Jayne: I can't believe you spotted I forgot Krakow! It's not a clue but it's true that it would be very nice. Defo one one my favourite on the list (don't want to jinx it)

Rosie: Copycat. But of course the reason why I want to go to Krakow is because you threatened to come and visit.

Jayne said...

Jayne: I can't believe you spotted I forgot Krakow!

Me either. Sometimes I amaze myself...

Pedro said...

Major - you are a fucking legend! This is brilliant. Especially the wikipedia reference, I laughed out loud for that one.
I hate that I don't know yours or Red's profession...
It intrigues me like you wouldn't believe (and yep, I have too much time on my hands).

The Major said...

Thanks Pedro, I also hate it that I don't know what Mademoiselle Red is doing all day either.

zee said...

Is it too late to nominate this in the Best Post category? Congratulations on that by the way. Congratulations too on being the only Frenchman residing in Italy to be long listed for an Irish blog award!

The Major said...

Thanks Zee, the thing is I spent an Irish Xmas in Dubai. That qualifies me automatically.
Congrats on your very cute new dog and all your nominations.