Sunday, November 25, 2007

cailìn eirennach

On her Thursday post, Mademoiselle Red seriously annoyed me by pointing out the problem of going out with a Frenchman. Since then i've been looking for sharp, incisive arguments to retaliate but i must say i am at a loss. The truth is, I have no problem at all going out with an Irish lady. And not only that but i can also see quite a few advantages. So here we go, the 10 best reasons for a Frenchman to go out with an Irish lady:

- On the world coolometer, Ireland ranks pretty high, which indirectly makes me pretty cool too. ("i'm French" - "i see" - But my girlfriend is from Ireland" - "Awesome!!!")

- No matter what sport Mademoiselle Red and I watch together, the French team is always better. It feels great.

- Compared to her, I always look dark and tanned on the pictures.

- I am aware of the existence of Bertie Ahern , which is a plus if, i don't know, someone cared to ask.

- I don't know about other Irish girls but Mademoiselle Red sometimes wears that ridiculously cute shirt that says Not only am i perfect but i am Irish too. It makes me horny every time, what can i say ?

- I get to laugh every time she is asked if she is a catholic or a protestant, or alternately if she is from the South or the North of Dublin.

- I have already seen/read all the French classics that she spends hours reading/watching now, and it makes me look super smart.

- I am treated like royalty in every pub we go to.

- I could technically go on holidays to Wexford. That's if i really wanted to.

- I get to see the priceless look on her face every time an American proudly tells her : "Hey I'm Irish too!"


red said...

Excuse me but I have to intervene on three levels.
1. Over the course of the last 5ish years I have struggled to de-americanise The Major's language, I think I've achieved some degree of success but then he uses words like 'horny' and I feel like an abject failure.

2. The t-shirt was a St Patrick's day present from my mother which I wear as pyjamas. It shrunk in the wash and I can assure you the only thing it arouses is laughter.

3. Just you wait until the Six Nations, we'll get you this time I swear.

Caro said...

Going to Wexford on holiday should be the pinnacle of any Frenchman's ambition.

I second the Six Nations thing, we're going to be out for blood this time round! Why else do you think we slept through the entire World Cup?

darren said...

uhm... I'd have said we used the World Cup as a warm up to the all important Heineken Cup until Toulouse skipped past Leinster...

Yeah, the Six Nations, that's when... oh I'm not even going to try!

Hullaballoo said...

Very funny and insightful, enjoyed your post Major. Sounds like the two of you are well matched and like to tussle, awww.

Rosie said...

you've been awfully quiet of late, Major. you're not still sulking about Red's back-handed compliment to you, are you? if so, it's no excuse for neglecting your audience.